Just another college girl fightin' the patriarchy

I generally prefer animated porn, because it’s much prettier than any woman can be. And I think seeing the most horrific thing you could possibly imagine is cute and funny. source

Just to reiterate, horrific violence against women is “cute” and “funny.” Lesson: so long as it’s filmed, violence against women isn’t real.

Men do not respect the women they see in porn no matter how many they watch. source

I am a young man, I consume pornography, and degradation of women is a fetish of mine. However, I have great respect for women, in a sexual context or otherwise, and I do not think that my personal preferences are driven by society’s declining sexual standards or that they are the inevitable result of a gender-based sexual dichotomy. I also resent strongly the insidious implication that people of such preference are complicit with or even responsible for the sexual disenfranchisement of women. So perhaps I am biased.

… I was relieved the author believes this behavior — the gaining of sexual pleasure from degrading others, something I usually despise when not naked — is normal. source

Then who, if not the people who gain sexual satisfaction from hurting, degrading, and humiliating women is responsible for the real-world implications?

First of all, the things you list–with the exception of facials–aren’t found in all straight porn (especially things like ATM, gaping, gagging, and choking.) Straight porn runs the gamut from mainstream vanilla fare to extreme gonzo stuff. It’s a common, if sleazy and unfair, tactic of feminist critics of porn to lump it all in the extreme gonzo category. Anyone with any familiarity with it, and with a shred of honesty and fairness, would admit that much of it is not that extreme, unless you’re one of the delicate flowers who considers a mundane oral/facial cumshot to be a horrendous, grotesque debasement. source

Ahhh yes, the respectful act of jizzing all over someone’s face. Lesson: Porn changes what people view as normal sexual behavior.

The more open you are about sex, the higher esteem in which you will be held by men.
Men are not attracted to women who say “no” more than “yes” in bed. We don’t look down on women who like to have fun; we look up on them. Our favorite females are those who are the most sexually liberal.
Any woman who claims certain sexual acts are degrading probably carries some sort of baggage. source

Lesson: women are pleasure objects, and saying no to pain or degradation means you’re not fun.

I think men are uncomfortable with women’s new interest in watching porn. We liked it better when porn was strictly the domain – and vice – of men. source

I think it is possible to honestly believe in and advocate for the equality and dignity of women (indeed of all people) while being turned on by images of women (or other men) humiliated and degraded. source

No, this wasn’t sarcastic. Really.

I watch porn and my gf has a higher sex drive than me! It would drive her nuts knowing my load sometimes goes to a rag instead of her. If I’m horny enough to go to porn, then why not her? Telling her the fantasy is better, quicker, or easier is hurtful; it’s better to just shut-up. source

Even when there’s a living human who wants sex, he still needs porn even if it means sacrificing time with his girlfriend. Porn isn’t addicting, it’s just a need that all men have.

Indeed, these very popular sites seem designed to repel women — to send them literally running from the room — what with the endless talk of “sluts,” “whores,” “bitches” and worse. Maybe without the perceived judgment of female eyes, it feels like a safer space to explore fantasy.
The sites are not designed to repel women … they are designed to attract men, and thats one of the reasons men are uncomfortable talking with their girlfriends or wives about the subject. What goes on inside most men’s darkest fantasies wouldn’t just repel most women, it would actively terrify them, especially in their boyfriend or husband. These sites are designed specifically to attract men, and they do a good job … the fact that they “repel” women isn’t particularly relevant to the designers or the consumers.
Its worth pointing out that “womens porn” is “repulsive” to men as well. Men aren’t interested, typically, in the way love, sex, men, and relationships are portrayed in the Cosmos of the world, and we find that picture as unrealistic as the one in our porn films. The reason is, we think differently … and the reason most men are uncomfortable talking to their women about their deepest darkest porn fantasies is that those fantasies are very dark and very deep. source

Violence against women is not as repulsive as a woman fantasizing about being loved. I assume people here never ask themselves if there is a reason women are “repulsed” by the idea of their loved ones getting off on rape and violence against women.

The vast, vast majority of men will never give up porn. It’s widely available, free and can pander to fantasies they would never experience in real life. Using porn is part of their lifestyle – day to day. In fact, I’d go far to say it’s a human right. [If men don't use porn] bad things will inevitably result.

Men naturally need to think they are raping and hurting women or bad things will happen. It’s a human right for men to rape women, and since they aren’t supposed to do it in real life, they have to at least pretend.

It needs to be acknowledged, I think, that sexuality is inherently dominant/submissive. “Degrading” is one word we use to describe this polarity. Tastes vary, from person to person, and from relationship to relationship. I find it absurd that porn is still discussed as “degrading to women”.
It’s degrading to human beings, sure, but that’s the whole point of it!

Ah the humanist argument. If porn and sex is degrading to humans rather than women, why is it that over 85% of mainstream pornography shows physical violence against WOMEN? Why are the vast majority of sexual assaults against WOMEN? Lesson: degrading people is OK so long as those people are women.

A benefit of porn has been the increased attention to female hygiene, particularly the shaving of female genital areas which is now expected by all parties and has great health benefits.

It’s always great when men talk about the health benefits of women going bare for them. It’s not like we have hair for a reason. We obviously evolved body hair to make us LESS healthy.

I’m sorry guys I know a lot of folks wont like this but sex is inherently demeaning to women. In its orthadox form it’s a submission of a woman to a man to a certain degree, and both parties take pleasure from that. 
… Porn is natural.

Lesson: Sex that demeans hurts and degrades women is natural, meaning inevitable.

i am a guy. most of our fantasies are born from what we see in porn movies k. we like to try lotta different things as we see them done in this movies. his toys ore obedient, manipulative (he can do whateva he wishes wit them. so u have to do what these whores (permit me to say) do in these movies you have to be a nasty bitch sexwise to win ur man back. diff styles, positions, anything u can think of. ask him what his sexual fantasies are, wat he wants u to do to him & wat he wants to try. be his toy baby & u’ll win him back source

Men like toys, women are toys. Men need their “toys” to do whatever is demanded of them, and these demands will come straight from porn. Regardless of whether the woman enjoys these fantasies, she is a toy and does not get a choice.

Being jealous of a picture, quite strange really. source

It’s strange for a woman to be jealous of her man spending time with pornography, but not strange to develop a relationship with an image and masturbate to it. The female emotion is “strange” while the male feeling is normal and natural.

Maybe it is easy for someone who has never been into porn to abstain from it, but I’ve been watching it since I was 16, and trying to stop for me is a whole different story. I don’t want to hear about the degradation of women! It is irrelevant to the need I feel – which pornography is exceedingly good at satisfying. source

It doesn’t matter if women are degraded or hurt, his penis is more important than their lives.

Men are trained from very early to think differently. They are taught to objectify women and seperate them in two catagories….those that are for sex and those that are for marrying. This is foreign to women, although it is changing rapidly.source

Good thing women are beginning to dehumanize and objectify others, since it is the only correct way of thinking. It’s not as though dehumanizing a whole group of people has dire consequences.

you have to understand the women in those pictures are objects not women. I know, we’re not supposed to objectify women but when they’re porn stars etc we do that’s what they’re paid for. They have less emotional worth to us guys than traffic lights. … Even in porn we’re looking at an object, it serves as a quick tool to arouse our physical senses, quickly, efficiently so we can release and get on with our day. … It’s like using a leaf blower instead of a rake to remove leaves from our garden, quick and efficient nothing else. …

We don’t watch movies of women sweet talking men and being romantic on an emotional level to get off, we look at naked female shaped objects. They’re not real to us, only sick twisted lonely weird guys invest any kind of emotion into porn stars or pictures of naked women. …

you’re insecure about nothing, those women are nothing, they don’t exist. source

This line needs repeating. “naked female shaped objects.”

Most guys don’t consider porn cheating, however, so you’ll have to try to be understanding if he thinks you’re out of line. source

Go ahead and call a guy out for this, but as you are a woman and he is the man, he’s going to think you’re out of line and will have to put you back in your place.

we make poor decisions when aroused.

From my friend via AIM, a guy who loves his porn and believes it’s healthy.

I feel that pornography has as much power to degrade women as it does to empower them; this is all decided in the mind of the person masturbating to it. source

I’m sure the guy masturbating to the woman being penetrated in all holes while she cries and ends up bathed in semen is watching it for the empowerment of women.

WE do love the women in our lives – but on our own terms, if relationships can ever hope to work long term!

Women are second to men, women’s terms are second to men’s terms.

women use sex as a bargaining tool. Porn lets guys take matters into their own hands so to speak and in doing so – partially relieves the need for women and raises the bar with what men expect women to do. Women hate porn because using it puts some of the power back into mens hands and women hate hate hate that. source

Lesson: Porn lets guys express their hatred of women for attempting to have equality. Women should have to compete with porn while the men sit back and enjoy.

I love porn. LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! Am I only the only person to get so sick of sex with their long term partner only to find relief in watching porn??? Surely not. We can’t all go out and score a different chick every night of the week. This is the next best thing and way better than being stuck in a boring long term relationship. source

Porn enhances relationships.

Though we obviously see women as sexual objects, this does not mean we are unable to recognise their other qualities as well. source

Women are firstly sex objects and not human, but they may possibly have other secondary qualities.

I love to keep pictures of the girls in these private moments because they are giving you the most beautiful side of themselves. source

A woman’s most beautiful side is when she is airbrushed, legs spread, presenting herself to be penetrated. The most private part of a woman is when she displays herself to be used to the entire world.

Ladies – when are you going it get it through your thick, blonde heads that porn can enhance your sex life?! There’s absolutely nothing abnormal about the fantasy world of porn – it’s not all 2 Girls, 1 Cup stuff! Try dropping the term ‘making love’ from you’re vocabulary & suddenly porn is just good, dirty fun. If it weren’t for the experimental nature of great porn, we’d have a generation of men that think the missionary position is exciting and that women can’t orgasm through penetrative sex. source

Despite the fact that only 25% of women can physically orgasm from penetrative sex. Lesson: it’s more correct for women to enjoy being penetrated in as many ways as porn can present. Porn enhances sex lives by teaching women that they are there to be penetrated by men and please them.

Lets not forget that those are women in those movies, it’s not like they are being forced to do those acts. The world has changed – that’s what men want these days. I’ve dismissed many girlfriends because they wouldn’t “play along”. After all – why buy the book when you can go to the library…

Because women in porn are willing to play along for money, all women should play along as well. Who needs a woman who expresses that something isn’t fun or hurts when you can watch it in porn?

Almost 9 months ago I touched my sister because we were looking at porn. I asked her what a vagina felt like an asked if I could feel hers it was a light touch. Source

If they are receiving sexual release from porn, then you are not the gatekeeper to sex and they become more dificult to bend to your will. Source

Pornography is a “healthy” release for hatred and anger towards women.

It felt…like I was in charge. Like I dominated her sexually, and she loved being dominated. It felt raw and animalistic…and very masculine for me. Source

About cumming on a woman’s face for the first time.

I am so ashamed of myself that I ever watched it now, it distorted my view on life. It’s pretty hard to find a real woman like the girls in porn… Source

Bill Margold, an actor who starred in several 3-D adult films during the seventies, doesn’t think 3-D deserves to make a comeback. “I don’t want to see a pop shot in my face unless it’s my own,” Source

A porn star is fine cumming on a woman’s face, but even having it imaginary done to him is repulsive.

he wants to see things he knows you don’t want, assfucking, titfucking, gangbanging, anal, ass-to-mouth, or more than anything, a guys wants to shoot his cum all over agirls FACE. do you like that? probaby not. if you will do all these things for him and he still watches porn, he is crazy. Source

A man has a deep desire to watch women be hurt (for instance the risk of disease from eating fecal matter, allowing yourself to be marked like a fire hydrant, and allowing your anus to be treated so roughly it bleeds). Unless you are willing to be hurt, there is nothing you can do.

To all the girls (and maybe guys) who in this thread or irl said “eww thats gross” or “why dont you stick a cock up your ass, see how you like it”. I bet you said the same type of things when you were little, about regular sex. “eww thats gross” or “im not doing it you do it”. Maybe its time for you to grow up some more. No, in fact its definitely time for you to grow up. Source

I’m sure he knows it would hurt to get fucked in the ass. But there are millions of girls AND guys that do it everyday. Source

It doesn’t matter if being “fucked in the ass” hurts, if you are not willing to submit to it you are immature and prude. A woman should always be willing to sacrifice her well being to satisfy a man’s libido, especially since women don’t feel pain the same way men do.

Comments on: "Porn Users Explain why Porn is Healthy Part 2" (19)

  1. Odd is it not that all the extracts are all about men and their rights/their sexual demands and women in porn. It’s all me, me me – meaning the man is the subject and woman is what? Why she is that dehumanised sexual service station which ‘me, me, me can use, abuse and then discard because there’s always another female sexual disposable service station available to use, abuse and then discard with the rubbish!

    These men damn themselves without any assistance from us feminists and yet, yet still the pro-porn apologists claim ‘porn is harmless adult entertainment; most porn is not degrading to men (because women aren’t human are they so no need to focus on those non-human creatures because it is all about men); or there is porn which is women friendly, or porn just needs to be not so violent and then it will be images of innumerable men penetrating/sexually torturing women without that nasty male violence against women being shown!’

    One male porn apologist/misogynist sums it up neatly – ‘It needs to be acknowledged, I think, that sexuality is inherently dominant/submissive. “Degrading” is one word we use to describe this polarity. Tastes vary, from person to person, and from relationship to relationship. I find it absurd that porn is still discussed as “degrading to women”.
    It’s degrading to human beings, sure, but that’s the whole point of it!’

    No sexual expression is not ‘degrading to human beings’ rather the male supremacist construction/promotion of male sexuality is degrading to women because men believe their penises are ‘little gods’ and women exist solely to sexually serve men in whatever way men demand and this includes men eroticising male sexual violence against women and euphemising it as pornography. I wonder why it is men who are the sexually dominant ones and not women the ones who sexually dominate and penetrate men with objects and other instruments. After all this male misogynist claims ‘sexuality is inherently dominant/submissive ….and it’s degrading to human beings but that’s the whole point of it! No porn apologist ‘porn is not degrading to human beings because the men in porn are not the ones being sexually dominated – it is always the women who are being subjected to sadistic male sexual torture and degradation. Obviously the male misogynist porn buyer was referring to men when wrote ‘human beings’ because men believe they alone are the default human whereas women are what exactly? Why men’s disposable sexual service stations and who are always supposedly gagging for men’s little spoonful of ejaculatory fluid. Since women are not human therefore ‘no human was harmed in the making of pornography!

    Yawn so sexual male dominance and female submission is natural – yes so was slavery once considered to be normal; so was men’s right to rape women; men’s right to assault their female partner’s children; men’s right to commit male sexual harassment against women. Hey wait a minute – apart from slavery all else continues to be viewed as ‘natural’ by men especially those men who buy the porn and ensure the porn industry continues to profit literally from sexually exploiting women and filming men committing sexual violence against women.

    Why? Because it is all about me, me, and me – meaning of course men and their rights; their demands their pseudo needs.

  2. Holy shit. This is so disturbing :-(

  3. If I’m horny enough to go to porn, then why not her? Telling her the fantasy is better, quicker, or easier is hurtful; it’s better to just shut-up.

    This appears to be a recurring theme in this series. Watching porn has become the same thing as having sex or nearly so. This is the triumph of consumerism; people prefer the mass-produced factory orgasms to the organic, homegrown kind.

    It’s always great when men talk about the health benefits of women going bare for them.

    Yes, health benefits like ingrown hairs and higher susceptibility to injury and infections.

    I’m sorry guys I know a lot of folks wont like this but sex is inherently demeaning to women. In its orthadox form it’s a submission of a woman to a man to a certain degree, and both parties take pleasure from that. … Porn is natural.

    It couldn’t possibly be our male supremacist culture that renders unthinkable the idea of sex untinged by power dynamics.

    you have to be a nasty bitch sexwise to win ur man back

    First, we should ponder why anyone would want to “win” a man.

    A woman should always be willing to sacrifice her well being to satisfy a man’s libido

    I suspect it’s less about libido than ego (not that the two are unconnected); men boast of their supposedly oh-so-powerful sex drives in order to deny the sociopolitical nature of their behaviors and fantasies.

  4. Yes, what BK said, so disturbing.
    Gosh, so much to pick apart, but I will go for a couple.

    you have to understand the women in those pictures are objects not women. I know, we’re not supposed to objectify women but when they’re porn stars etc we do that’s what they’re paid for. They have less emotional worth to us guys than traffic lights. …

    I am sure that the REAL WOMEN who are ‘porn stars’ would really love to know what these wanker dudes really think of them.

    First of all, the things you list–with the exception of facials–aren’t found in all straight porn

    Ah yes, the ‘facials’. It seems so benign, and yet it is highly symbolic. Psychologically, there is little difference to a dude whether it is piss or cum shooting out of his mighty man-member, and targeting the woman’s face is an act of revulsion and erasure, as well as dominance. There were many comments in the selection about ‘facials’. The ‘big thing’ in porn facials is if the woman gets ‘pink eye’ from it – which is just proof that she has been done some harm.

    As for the dude that would prefer to wank off, rather than be intimate with his girlfriend, I am sure he will end up 24/7 in porno fantasyland sooner rather than later, many of them do. They report – and this is the actual porn users – that porn is better than actual sex. Mainly because they can get off on a lot of degradation that they cannot do or get away with in real life.

    My gawd, why any female would want to be het (let alone ‘sex poz’) in today’s world of menz, is well beyond me. They hate you women! Take off the love goggles, and see menz for what they really love about porn. It is fucking frightening. Really, run away, run away now!

  5. I am really concerned about women who seem to being brainwashed into thinking they must accept this behaviour in men

    Listen to Elsa – skraling – Jun 22nd 2011
    Elsa, your comment on june 20th is absolutely true. I am a man, 29, and have posted before in this conversation. I have kept following the responses, but as they are becoming more intolerant and radical, I feel I have nothing of value to add. The three other men that have dared to participate with honest comments happen to agree as well. We all do it and it won’t stop. I am glad to see some women have come to accept it. In younger generations, women in their 20’s and even younger, this is not even a controversial issue anymore. That makes me hopeful for the future of gender relations. You should all listen to Elsa.

    re caught of gaurd – Elsa – Jun 20th 2011
    The need for men to watch porn is natural, You have to come to terms with that, he will always watch it and believe me there is no cure, given the oppurtunity he will watch. You have to accept this otherwise your life will become hell. I always thought my husband was different, that he had only eyes for me, but like so many before discovered the truth, they are all the same. Pornography is for men what clothes are to us, you can never have enough and are always on the lookout for new ones. Do yourself a favour, if you cannot accept his pornography get help. He will always do it. It wont help ending the relationship because the next man will do the same. There is NO cure unless you can destoy all pornographic material. He will resent you if you want to change him.

    http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=12660

    • Good grief Mary, the ‘attack’ is on all fronts.
      Not all men watch porn. Even if the majority do.
      ‘Elsa’ did not give option #3, which is to give up finding a decent dude, therein lies the path to sanity.

      • I agree totally with both of you, it’s so sad how delusional this all is. 70% watch, 30% don’t. Maybe if more women started demanding men out of that 30% pool, it would grow.

      • My husband has given up looking at porn (for the 2nd time) after he finally realised I seriously did regard his behaviour as being unfaithful, but I was on the point of packing my bags. If I am forced to leave in the future then option 3 is for me, I shan’t be living with any more men – unless senile dementia has set in.

        elkballet – I think some women are beginning to look for men from the 30% of those who don’t look at it, and I have noticed a couple of women on forums asking if there are any relevent dating agencies to find these highly desirable men.

    • In younger generations, women in their 20s and even younger, this is not even a controversial issue anymore. That makes me hopeful for the future of gender relations.

      O brave new world, That has such people in’t!

      The need for men to watch porn is natural

      I wonder whether marketers or pop evol psychos are more guilty of misapplying the word “natural”. Also, there is no “need” to watch porn.

  6. So disturbing. ElkBallet, thanks for doing this research; I expect it is very difficult to wade through this material.

  7. Health Benefits of Brazilian waxing?

    Thats pretty funny. Cept I’m not laughing.

    By that logic though surely men would also benefit from a back, sack and crack wax – done by a bloke! every month or so – at a cost of around $100 a pop. Ya know, just to be healthy! LOL.

    I’ll keep my bush thanks, and my armpits for good measure.

    Great work Elkballet. Keep it up!

    • Yes didn’t you know that ripping the hair out by the roots has wonderful healthy benefits such as increased risk of vaginal infections, increased risks of skin infections, plus the discomfort of ingrown hairs, stubble, and the actual pain of the waxing?

      I prefer the health benefits of being hairy, namely that porn-watching guys stay away.

  8. reversemirror said:

    “re caught of gaurd – Elsa – Jun 20th 2011
    The need for men to watch porn is natural, You have to come to terms with that, he will always watch it and believe me there is no cure, given the oppurtunity he will watch”

    So let’s take a look at the kind of mass-media that has enabled porn and sexualised images to be disseminated widely and cheaply/freely.

    Internet: approx the last 25 years
    Video (all formats that can be purchased or made and played at home): 60 years approx
    Film (cinema): approx the last 90 years
    Magazines: approx the last 150 years
    Photos/postcards/illustrations: approx last 150 years

    Do these people really think that the average European medieval, Renaissance and Regency person would have access to porn 24/7? Or indeed at all? Or most of the average working people of the Industrial Revolution? Native peoples – African, Australian Aboriginal, Native Indian? Chinese and Indian peasants? There will have been brothels and prostitution and some erotic art/sculptures, yes. Bawdy jokes and stories and plays, undoubtedly (we didn’t “invent” sex in 1850). But for most of human history there has been NOTHING like the explosion of explicit porn, enabled first by video and cheap printed magazines, and then by the Internet. Frankly I’ll only start believing it’s a natural and unassailable human need, when men start being born with WIFI connections and a keyboard attached.

  9. [...] http://elkballet.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/porn-users-explain-why-porn-is-healthy-part-2/ Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Posted in: pornography harms, pro-sex anti-porn, quote of the day, Radical Feminism [...]

  10. [...] Porn Users Explain why Porn is Healthy Part 2 « ElkballetPorn Users Explain why Porn is Healthy Part 2. October 7, 2011. I generally prefer animated porn, because it’s much prettier than any woman can be. And I think … September 3rd, 2012 | [...]

  11. [...] For all of us, I think it boils down to this: it’s tempting to think we can have everything, and mainstream culture encourages us. We want to “ironically”, “subversively” or tentatively enjoy or pursue instrumental sexuality while still being free to explore other sexualities. Sexuality is meant to be like clothes, we’re told that we can put on and take off enjoyment of different things at will. A guy claims he can enjoy pornographic degradation of women in the afternoon, and be loving and gentle towards his woman partner in the evening (for the truth of that, you could read these potentially triggering statements from porn users themselves: part one, part two). [...]

  12. [...] (Trigger Warning for woman-hating in woman-haters’ own words) Elkballet, Porn Users Explain Why Porn Is Healthy Part 2 [...]

  13. [...] For all of us, I think it boils down to this: it’s tempting to think we can have everything, and mainstream culture encourages us. We want to “ironically”, “subversively” or tentatively enjoy or pursue instrumental sexuality while still being free to explore other sexualities. Sexuality is meant to be like clothes, we’re told that we can put on and take off enjoyment of different things at will. A guy claims he can enjoy pornographic degradation of women in the afternoon, and be loving and gentle towards his woman partner in the evening (for the truth of that, you could read these potentially triggering statements from porn users themselves: part one, part two). [...]

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