Just another college girl fightin' the patriarchy

Simone de Beauvoir was once asked in an outraged way if she truly believed women shouldn’t be given the choice to be housewives. She responded that no, they shouldn’t since she will choose it every time.

When I was first told about the differences between second and third wave feminists, it was framed to me as such; do you believe that women should have the choice to do as they like or do you think that women who shave their legs, wear dresses, and have sex are wrong? Being my pre-feminist self I became defensive of my skirts and the fact that I shaved my legs. I LIKE shaving my legs, I said. I LIKE wearing makeup.

On the train yesterday was a woman scratching her legs. She had dark stubble growing in on her ankles and she must have reached down to scratch 10 or 15 times. It looked painful, and she looked self-conscious and embarrassed. Another woman on the subway was self-consciously covering her knees because they had a small amount of hair on them. And they had every reason to be. A man across the subway from me was eyeballing me in an uncomfortable way until he got to my hairy legs, at which point his eyes widened and he looked away quickly. The attention my hairy legs get is astonishing. People look repulsed, as though female body hair is somehow covered in plague. They will stare as if they’ve never seen hair on a woman before, as if I’m deformed in some way. If I wasn’t a radical feminist, that kind of attention would have made me mortified to exist.

Shaving your legs is expensive. You go through a razor head a month, at a cost of maybe $2 per piece, plus shaving creams at a cost of maybe $3 each. It is time consuming. In order to not have stubble a woman must shave at least every other day, maybe every day, at around 5-10 minutes per session. It is assumed that every few times you shave you will cut yourself a little. There is certainly nothing fun about leg shaving.

There is only one reason to shave your legs. Because the pain of shaving your legs is, to most women, much less than the pain of not shaving her legs. The pain of money and time wasted and the annoyance of the occasional cut, the irritation of constant stubble growth, is far less than the pain and humiliation of being given the looks I am given. Being considered repulsive, disgusting. That kind of woman. One of them. Feminists.

That is not a free choice. A free choice is whether I want chocolate or strawberry ice cream. Being given two options, one that will be difficult and one that will be easy, is not free will since most people will choose the easier way. It would be like saying, you can choose the chocolate or the strawberry, but if you choose the chocolate you will be punched in the face. And then saying people just inherently like strawberry more when they choose it. This is not a free choice.

The more complicated way to talk about this is in the frame of women presenting themselves. Women supposedly have two equally valid choices, to present themselves as objects or to not present themselves as objects. We are told by funfems that women have the option to be either, that most women simply choose out of inherent desire, to serve men. Women and girls are shown role models on TV, the fuckable doctor, the fuckable lawyer, the fuckable teacher, etc… The message is extremely clear. In order to be successful as a woman, you must be fuckable. You must leverage your sexuality to get to the top. That your sexuality is your most important aspect. Who needs to do well in science class if you can seduce the science nerds into doing well for you? Women are told that if they cannot present their sexuality as their only identity, then they are not worthwhile as whole human beings.

What is not presented are the women who choose not to define themselves by pornified sexuality. There are very few shows where a normal-looking woman or a woman who focuses on her career/friends/hobbies/passions is presented, unless that “flaw” is part of plot. Think Ugly Betty where the fact that she is merely average looking must be constantly pointed out so viewers won’t think it’s an oversight. These women, the women who don’t entirely define themselves in relation to the men around them and how they can manipulate them with their bodies are completely absent, completely invisible. Given those two options, acceptance and success versus invisibility, who would choose the latter? And because of this invisibility of the woman not wishing to be constantly viewed as “for sex,” very few women even know this option exists. When women are presented with only one option, it can hardly be surprising when she “chooses” it.

When a woman goes to buy clothing, these images and ideas are not wiped clean from her brain. It would be impossible given that everything she has ever seen, heard, read about, or experienced is in relation to these images and ideas. She could buy the practical clothing, or she could buy high heels. The fuckable women often wear heels, while the not-fuckable women don’t. The heels make her legs look longer, she can now emulate the fuckable character. So she chooses the heels, she believes she likes the heels when in fact, she simply likes the image the heels give her. This is reinforced when she goes outside and gathers votes of approval from the men staring at her legs up and down. Yes, she thinks, she definitely likes the heels. They hurt, but it’s “worth it” because of the approval she gets.

But it’s never good enough. She needs to buy more things to emulate the character even more. There is a constant stream of things she must buy to emulate these characters. New impractical shoes, new impractical makeup, new toxins to put on her scalp and skin. There is no way that any woman can truly live up to this image she is burdened with. I was once sitting with a man and a tall skinny blonde woman in extremely high stiletto heels and a very small tight dress walked past. He was practically falling on the ground drooling and slobbering and yelling about how hot she was. Look at those legs! He exclaimed. Then just seconds later, she had to walk across the grass and was unable. She sank in, staggered around, tripping and falling, desperately pulling at the bottom of her dress to cover everything until she had to be carried by her friend in flat shoes. Was this guy supporting her? Do you think he was still drooling over her, giving her his praise? No. Throughout all of this he mocked her, cruelly and endlessly. What an idiot, he said. Why would ANY woman wear heels? It’s so stupid. When I pointed out to him that his reaction 10 seconds ago is why women wear heels, he didn’t have anything to say except that she was still a “freak.” The impracticality was expected, appreciated, loathed and mocked.

There is no winning for women, there is no good choice. But always “choosing” the one that panders to this unattainable standard of fuckability is the one thing guaranteed to not be able to free us from double standards, victim-blaming, and being viewed in a one-dimensional hyper-sexualized way. Because of the complete invisibility of an option other than hyper-sexualized and pandering to male porn fantasy, women only have one option visible to them. Women believe they have choice because they are given so many ways to fit the porn fantasy. Do they want red or black heels? Gold or silver eyeshadow? This act of “choosing” gives women the illusion that they have some kind of free choice when in fact, they are all choosing the exact same thing. But really, when women are only presented with one option, how can ANYONE be surprised when she chooses it? If there is no other choice, there can be no “choice” at all. It’s simply doing what you’re told. This is why even the “feminism is about choice” argument completely falls apart. There is no choice.

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Frequently as feminists we are told that our arguments are invalid because we are just moral crusaders out on some other moral crusade because of a variety of reasons none of which have to do with feminism. I for one, am a bit tired of this. Being accused of being a moral crusader always does or tries to bring the conversation to a screeching halt. Because the phrase sounds just awful, who wants to be accused of “crusading?” Yet does anyone really question what exactly a moral crusader is? What the phrase means? When I looked up what the meaning is, the entire definition is:

A person who seeks to influence a group to adopt or maintain a norm.

That’s it folks. So yes, I suppose feminists are moral crusaders. We do seek to influence a group (people) to adopt a norm (not hate women). Who else is a “moral crusader?”

  • The police
  • Most of the government
  • Every activist group ever
  • Unions

Do you think anyone accuses unions of being on a moral crusade because they want better conditions? So why does this phrase only apply to feminists and the church? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard it applied anywhere else despite the fact that it applies to every group trying to get anything done ever. I don’t believe I heard anyone use this term in reference to black groups trying to get recognition as human, and certainly not now. It’s incredibly obvious that accusing feminists of being moral crusaders is a pathetic attempt to align us with religious groups. I think it’s fairly obvious that many people hear that term crusades and think of the obvious brutal violent religious crusades. So people, please stop using the term moral crusader. It’s not actually an insult. Maybe people should pay more attention to what they’re saying, because this term just shows your ignorance.

As I walk down the street a lingerie store is plastered with pictures of airbrushed women staring seductively at the camera. A popular clothing store for teens features thin girls modeling thongs, bikinis, and leggings while doing “porn star” poses and faces. A store specializing in little girls’ clothes features young girls jutting our their hips, pouting at the camera, and shoving their butts in the air. When I go to buy some gum at the store I see rows of women in lingerie, in bikinis, and nude with strategically placed captions staring back at me, promising the youngest and hottest at my disposal. In the women’s section I see scantily clad women looking seductively at the camera with captions promising to teach me how to behave like a porn star, how to pleasure my boyfriend, how to maximize my cleavage, how to diet to a size 2. There are ads on the wall for cigarettes, beer, soda, and potato chips with scantily clad women sucking the cigarettes, licking the beer, and caressing the junk food. In the backs of magazines are advertisements for live sex toys in the form of women. As I drive home I pass billboards filled with hot women promising to gyrate and pour water on themselves for my viewing pleasure. It’s insinuated that I can rent one of these women like a car.

When I get home and check my email my inbox is filled with ads for videos of brutal rape, women gagging on penises, and women being gang banged. I browse through blogs and accidentally click a wrong link, which floods my screen with graphic hardcore porn ads filled with animations of men ejaculating on women’s faces, women being anally penetrated, and of women with tears streaming down their faces while they are raped. I type in a search and many of the pages are filled with porn. I flip on the TV and see ads for completely non-sexual products such as deodorant featuring a porn-ready woman in a white t-shirt shaking her breasts while covered in water. When I look through cable channels I have to skip through several dozen porn channels to find a “regular” movie.

I go to a party with friends and they want to look through porn for entertainment. I start seeing a new boyfriend who requests to degrade and dominate me like he’s seen in porn. He is repulsed by body hair and thinks body fat is unnatural. He enjoys the thought of me being uncomfortable or in pain to satisfy his urges. A friend goes to a party and is raped according to a porn script the boys just watched.

If I have a child he or she won’t have to look for it, it will find him or her. I will have to put enormous effort into porn-proofing my home and even then he will almost surely see it on someone else’s computer, on his phone, hear about it from friends. I will have to arm him before he’s even hit puberty to know that what he sees on the computer isn’t real. I will have to live knowing that my child has seen a woman being double penetrated and ejaculated on before he’s had his first kiss and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Even if I somehow manage to avoid ever seeing porn, it is expected that I dress like a porn star, wax like a porn star, perform in bed like a porn star, and fully embrace all of my partner’s porn-fueled fantasies. I am told that if I don’t perform to his demands I will be cheated on, dumped, abused, and it will all be my fault. I am told that if I refuse to date men who who use porn I will be alone or at best am a controlling bitch and will probably be lied to anyways.

So really, I would love to follow the advice that if I don’t like porn I shouldn’t watch it. I would love to live in a world where absolutely everything from children’s shows to pharmaceutical ads wasn’t influenced by porn. I would love to live in a world where most of the men I meet don’t think of me in reference to the last porn movie they just watched. The advice seems to easy, just don’t watch. I would love to avoid it. Just tell me how.

Amazing Story

Even a brutal gang rape is barely enough to send a man to jail for more than six months and unsurprisingly no one one listened to the “slut” at first. But this is absolutely amazing to read through. This woman is so brave for her actions.

Rape Justice After 20 Years

Can women prevent rape as individuals? Is there some truth to the idea that women are raped because they dress or behave in a certain way? Short answer: no. The idea that a woman can prevent rape based on her behavior rests on the idea that men rape out of horniness when they don’t. It also rests on the idea that men rape out of miscommunication, when they don’t. And lastly it rests on the idea that men do not choose to rape, when they do. Men do not rape because they want sex, they rape because they want to dominate. No amount of sexual satisfaction can prevent rape, therefore no amount of sexual tension or arousal can cause rape.

It doesn’t matter if the woman was wearing the shortest skirt known to mankind, if she was dancing in the most provocative way a person can dance, if she smiled seductively at every single man in the room, and then led one (or more) of them to a private room, she still has the complete right to refuse sex. Even if at some point she says, “I really want to have sex with you! I am giving consent for sex, let’s have sex!” And then five minutes later changes her mind, she still has the right to not be penetrated or touched. To say otherwise denies that she has full ownership of her body. It places her body on par with a commodity, somewhat like a rental car. In that she is able, with some sort of action, to temporarily transfer ownership to someone else. If her body truly was her own, if the government respected a woman’s right to control her own body, there would be no question about when she ceased to control what happens to her, because there would never be such a time.

If you are to blame the victim for say, inviting a man up to her room in the first place, it ignores the conscious choice of the man to rape her. Even when you get to the point where there is kissing or touching, to assume that sex rape “just happened” is to ignore the fact that at some point the man had a choice. To proceed with sex or to not proceed with sex. It isn’t as though a person can “accidentally” slip into someone else unannounced. I feel a lot of discussions of this ignore the fact that the actual act of initiating sex takes effort, a bit of thought, and some time. It isn’t like a switch is flipped. He has to consciously guide himself there, and if she doesn’t want the sex, *trigger warning* he is going to have to consciously force himself into her. There is no accident, there is no split second action. It is a conscious choice that he made to disregard her choice in the matter and rape her. No matter how she acted up until this point, there is a decisive moment when he has to make the choice to rape her. At some point, he has made a decision to not listen or care.

But none of this matters to the law. There exists a point to them where the woman ceases to have control of her own body. Depending on the individual case, this point can be as early as when she decides to go to a party. It is easier to place the blame on the woman than to admit that at some point, the man decided to be a violent disgusting monster and commit a horrible act. This would force men everywhere to acknowledge that other men are frequently capable of being so vile and disgusting. It is much easier to assume that he couldn’t help it since she wore such a short skirt. It turns it into a sort of “flattery” that she should be grateful he was that attracted to her, rather than the act of a sick, twisted monster.

This isn’t even counting the fact that the vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the victim knew. That means it was probably premeditated. She probably would have seen him before and assumed him to be safe. It is likely she knew him well, in which case he must have known what he was doing. He already knew what he needed to know. Yet in spite of all this, I am still as a woman told that it is my responsibility to prevent men from raping me. Simultaneously I am constantly told by the media that the only way to be accepted by society is to be “hot.” I am told that to be hot I have to party, drink, wear tiny skirts and dresses, high heels, and learn to strip and pole dance. I am told that the ultimate goal is to attract a good man. But when a woman does this and all she succeeds in doing is attracting a monster, she is blamed and told she is a whore. In doing this, society trains women to be raped.

Yet, despite all this, I am still warned to follow precautions. These precautions, despite not being applicable to 99.99% of rapes, I am told will protect me. If I imprison myself, I won’t be raped and if I am I won’t be blamed.

I have received the following things that tell me how I can prevent being raped, as though I somehow possess the key to controlling the male thirst for power. I shouldn’t wear my hair in a ponytail, talk on my phone while walking, listen to my ipod outside, carry things, leave my keys in my pocket, open my windows, get into my car without checking under and in it, walk past vans, take the time to put my groceries in the car without a male guarding me, walk through a parking lot (crowded or not) without male supervision, walk through parking garages without a male supervisor, go to parties, drink alcohol, wear clothes that are remotely revealing or remotely tight, turn my back on my drink even for a second to look across the room, turn my back on the room to have a sip of my drink, be alone with men, dance, be outside alone, go into the woods, mention sex around boys, make eye contact with men, act timid around men, ask for directions, go into public restrooms, walk away from main streets, basically I shouldn’t exist if I don’t want to be raped. And this isn’t even a complete list. If men were told this was all risky behavior that would put them at risk for having their bodily cavities pried open and tortured by women, hell would freeze over and the world would cease to exist until every last woman was locked in prison to reduce the risk. Any person with a 7 year old’s reading comprehension can see that this list restricts women’s freedoms to such an extent that she could be sent to prison and have more freedoms. So why is this considered common sense? It doesn’t even protect against the vast majority of rapes, the ones committed by people the victim knew, the kind she is most often blamed for.

The fact that victim blaming is the norm just shows how little regard the law and society has for the idea that women control their own bodies. The idea that women’s bodies aren’t public property is upsetting to many men. If society respected the right of a woman to choose what happens to her body, abortion rights wouldn’t be a question. Victim blaming could not exist because there would be no question about when a woman ceases to control her own body, since the point would never come. There are even laws allowing dead people and people in comas control of what happens to their bodies, so why isn’t the same privilege awarded to living women? When someone is rear-ended in a car accident, no one wonders why the car in front didn’t see the other car coming and move. So why are women expected to see rape coming and avoid it?

Rape fantasies are one of the top 10 fantasies women describe. So it must be fairly perplexing to a rapist or potential rapist (aka MRA) when rape is a crime. How can a woman’s sexual fantasy be a crime? But that’s fairly clearly just an excuse to rape someone. No one would argue that because someone wants to give a ton of money to a charity that he wants to be robbed. The “rape fantasy” is a high ranking fantasy, but it isn’t actually rape she’s fantasizing about. It’s freedom and desireability. I know that makes no sense, having her freedoms taken away is fantasizing about freedoms. But it is.

As I’ve stated several times, we live in a culture that demonizes female sexuality. Women who have sex are sluts, whores, and skanks and aren’t worthwhile human beings. Meanwhile she’s also expected to look the part of the “whore” while not actually being one. This is a ridiculous constricting double bind. A woman’s entire life worth revolves around a penis and her relation to it. Most women enjoy orgasms and enjoy physical affection and some kinds of sex, but when they show this, society outcasts them. Even though men aren’t the only ones who enjoy and want sex, they are the only ones who get to define its rules. So if you are a woman who enjoys sex, what are your options to not be ostracized? Either sign over your sexuality to a husband, or keep quiet. Obviously there’s a bit of leeway in there, but according to a poll by the Guardian the average number of sex partners a man will tolerate from a girl they want to date is 4, maybe 5 if he really likes her (regardless of his number). What’s a woman to do?

There is an exception in the stultifying of women clause, and that is if she didn’t choose to have sex. This is shown by the very weird exception most anti-choicers will make to allow abortions in the case of rape or incest, in that women don’t need to be punished for sex that wasn’t up to them. While people do usually attempt to blame women for being raped, generally if people can accept that a rape actually happened, the woman is not responsible.

And voila, the “rape” fantasy is born. If she is not responsible for the sex, then it does not make her a whore to enjoy it (which it shouldn’t anyways). If women did not have to feel guilty about sex, enjoying sex, or masturbation, they wouldn’t feel obligated to blame it on someone else in their fantasies. In other words, in case you didn’t catch this, women do not fantasize about rape, they fantasize about being able to enjoy sex guilt-free. But because most of these women have no idea what a situation of completely egalitarian seduction and sex would look like, in order to feel guilt-free they fantasize about an anonymous pleasurebot coming in and ravishing them. Society puts into women the idea that if they say to someone, “yes I would love to have sex” she is a whore. So in her fantasy, she has to imagine not having said yes in order to be ravished. In the real world that would be rape. But that is not what rape is. Rape is the most soul-destroying horrific crime on the face of the Earth (short of murder) and no woman fantasizes about being raped. Women fantasize about guilt-free sex in a word that makes them feel guilty about having sex.

Further, people often incorrectly assume rape is a crime of lust. The the woman was just so hot and sexy the man could not control himself. And our society tells women that their only value is in their sex appeal. I’ve heard numerous (horrifying) times men saying women should be flattered that they got raped. People also assume ugly people cannot be raped. So the woman is picturing herself to be so sexy and desired that he just can’t keep his hands off of her.

No woman actually wants to be raped. Even women who fantasize about having some control taken away do not want to be raped because she would need to have ultimate, “get the fuck off me” power and the power to choose her partner. And even if women feel flattered when some men desire them, the real life act of being lusted after like meat is creepy, unsettling, and sometimes frightening. I’ll say it again, the rape fantasy has nothing to do with rape, it has to do with enjoying sex guilt free and wanting to be desired. Comparing a rape fantasy to actual rape is like comparing someone’s statement, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” to then taking a horse, slaughtering it, and shoving it’s putrid remains down said person’s throat. Comparing the two trivializes the actual crime of rape and it does not excuse anyone from actually raping someone. The very act of fantasizing about “rape” makes the sex wanted, and the very definition of rape is unwanted. Therefore it’s not even a rape fantasy.

Wait, before you get all angry, I know, some are false. I know, I’m not saying they never happen. They do, just rarely. This article from Yes means Yes will tell you more. What I’m talking about are the anecdotal things we hear, mainly from anti-false-rape groups. Many MRAs claim to have a false rape story, something that set them off. They were terrified, they didn’t know what was happening some girl they boned is suddenly crying rape (cause all women secretly just want to put all men behind bars, right?) Most of them include a sexual interaction with a woman that they enjoyed and thought was consensual, and then BAM out of the blue, she’s calling it rape. Before I launch into my analysis, here are two stories to ponder (trigger warning).

My friend went to a party in high school. The most popular boy in school was there. They flirted, she liked him, he liked her. They went upstairs, both got naked, and made out. She didn’t want to have sex, but he did. She was about to protest, but he kissed her so she couldn’t talk and held her wrists so she couldn’t escape and raped her. She was traumatized, and ended up screwing up her life after the incident. The boy, on the other hand, called her for dates several times after and gushed to his friends about how cool she was and how great she was in bed. He honestly had no idea that he raped her.

Another friend of mine was raped in college at a frat party. She told her friends about it, and word got around what had happened. Several days later, the boy was overheard ranting on and on about how much of a lying slut she was. He genuinely seemed to have no idea he raped anyone. Noticing a trend?

So here’s what I want to get across. Very few rapists know they raped someone. In one study by Diana Russell, approximately 25% of men said they had participated in an event that was legally sexually assault. Far fewer than that knew they had committed a crime. By a factor of about 25. So you can understand why I have some trouble believing most of the claims of false rape actually being false. In the event that a false accusation TRULY did happen, they would have my sympathy. Truly. But it’s exceptionally rare to happen. Most studies put false rape accusations around 2-5% of all accusations. Barely higher than all other crimes (which is approximately 2%). While this is tragic, it would be impossible to lower this number to below the percentage of other crimes. The only way to possibly make false rape accusations lower would be to lower rape accusations in general. This would either be accomplished by decriminalizing rape or by lowering rape rates. It’s absurd to suggest that rape laws become less strict since there is already an epidemic of rape and almost none are reported. A lot of people who claim to have been falsely accused think rape is worse than other crimes to be accused of and therefore, no one should be punished unless it’s “real” rape (like violent life in danger jumping out of bushes and holding a gun type rape, which makes up the extreme minority of all rapes).

Let’s review some of the evidence from the men frequently claiming to have been falsely accused. I researched the topic at great length on MRA forums and found the following to be almost universally true and agreed upon:

-Real rape is heinous.

-Real rape happens very very very rarely

True rape is more around 1 in a 100 000, it is a very rare incident rate in our culture.

-Force must be used for it to be rape.

The true meaning of rape is to use physical force or threat to have sex.

-Consent does not always have to exist, she must say no and fight for it to be rape.

So the problem is not that the girl consents, she never consents —- she just somehow omits to say no.

-Women rarely say if they want sex, so persuasion is frequently necessary and OK.

If a person is “overpersuaded”, too bad, they’re responsible for not getting up and leaving.

They will have to ignore minor “no” signals in some situations.  It’s impossible to tell if she means them, or if she enjoys the attention and just wants you to try harder!

-Most rape isn’t really rape at all, it is simply miscommunication.

-Men rape out of sexual frustration.

-Women who wear revealing clothing are asking for it.

I just find it difficult to sympathize with female rape victims because (in general) women use sexuality to thier benefit so often, so frequently and in so many forms, that I cannot feel sorry when it is *forced* upon them.

[We should allow] immodestly dressed women to be raped. … This is needed to prevent women from exercising too much sexual power.

slut culture comes first, rape culture is the response.

-Having sex with women with impaired consent is not rape since the woman chose to get drunk or take drugs.

if a woman gets drunk, and she doesn’t remember what happened, tough.  She got drunk on her own.  She voluntarily vacated her faculties.  Ditto if SHE takes drugs.

If they have too many drinks, they’re responsible for having too many.

-Consent may be implied in any number of ways.

If your in that situation, you must have done something to say/indicate “This is ok”.  At the least, at some point you let him into your room(s), onto your couch.

-Many women secretly want to be raped.

a serious crime isn’t something that could just as easily be the fantasy of a lifetime fulfilled. Especially when that fantasy of a lifetime is actually being forcibly raped. It can even be rape if the woman enjoys getting raped, as some surely have.

-Rape is more serious for men than it is for women.

If a heterosexual male is raped by other male prisoners in jail, it is a completely unnatural and perverted experience as well as being against his will. A woman who is raped by a man is still experiencing a relatively natural experience since she voluntarily has sex with her husband/boyfriend

-Ugly women can’t be raped. In fact, they should be grateful.

Am I the only one who has noticed that the ones who go on and on about the dangers of rape, wearing rape whistles and carrying pepper spray are the ones who couldn’t get a decent looking guy to have sex with them much less rape them?

-Rape just really isn’t that bad. Prison is far worse, even if the man did rape someone.

Is rape really that bad? It’s a horrible experience but you get over it. Prison is worse then being a victim of any crime.  I would say life in prison is worse then death.

I would much rather be raped once than be locked in a cage…I have come to the conclusion that there are lots of things in this nasty world that are  much worse than vaginal rape. There are only a few ways to physically rape someone – there are apparantly limitless ways to rape a person’s soul.

They also frequently used terms such as “over-persuade” and made a distinction between rape and rape-rape. So let’s review. These men claim to have been falsely accused of rape, while at the same time basically believing that nothing counts as rape if it wasn’t “stranger rape.” If the rape didn’t fit the Hollywood drama account of rape, then it’s not real. They claim they were falsely accused of rape while also believing it is legal and OK to take advantage of drunk women, believing that no doesn’t usually mean no, that some women secretly want to be raped, that women who wear slutty clothes deserve to be raped and it shouldn’t be a crime, and that when women say no it just means push harder. In case that wasn’t clear enough for you, I’ll say it again. They don’t think they raped someone, but according to them, the vast majority of rapes, (i.e. “acquaintance rape”) aren’t actually rape. I have a hard time believing that a “false” rape accusation against a man who believes that inviting a man into your room is consent is truly false. Or that a man who believes women who dress scantily deserves to be raped didn’t actually rape someone.

And for the minuscule number of false rape accusations that do happen? It’s slime like the above mentioned people that make it happen. With their insane double standards of “sluttism” for women, with their insistence that women be submissive and reject all sex while men are the ones allowed to enjoy sex, it’s that culture that perpetuates the reason for this. I’ve heard such horrifying things as:

I’m not in the least bit troubled by your claim that men would be admired for having sex with five women while women would be scorned. Men have a much higher sex drive than women so if a man manages to pull this off it is most likely because he wants it and if a woman consents to it it is most likely because she is a pathetic spineless people pleaser. I don’t think either of them have anything to be proud of but It’s quite obvious why they aren’t thought of the same way.

So how can anyone who claims to campaign for fewer false rapes (yes, that comment was from a page talking about how horrifying false rape accusations are) simultaneously campaign for harsher judgement on women and a tighter box around women’s sexuality? How can those two thoughts be reconciled? Basically, women should be ashamed to have sex and should have to face horrible social ostracism for having sex, but at the same time no desperate attempts to not be labeled a whore will be tolerated. Meanwhile, men should be allowed to roam freely, dicks akimbo expressing their naturally rape-happy sexuality. It’s pretty obvious most of these idiots campaigning for fewer false rapes do so because they’re actually rapists. Don’t forget either, almost everyone says they didn’t do it when accused of a crime.

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